A time to pause

Looking inward requires us to be intentional every moment of our lives.  For some of these moments, I managed to muster the courage to face the truth about my life, but to be honest, I only did so when it was easy.  I only allowed myself to be vulnerable to a certain extent, when it still falls within my comfort zone.  I am not sure what it is about being vulnerable that scares me, but I know that the need to face up is shining a light on the darkness that lurks in my life.  It takes bravery to come out and take the step towards authenticity.  And while I am just wavering back and forth, I figured this space will be the best place to begin the thought process that will eventually push me into action.

Pausing... it seems simple yet I know that for the most part of my life, I have been trying to elude the stillness that is begging to just be.  Even if I have practiced 21 days of prayer and fasting for the past 4 years of my life, those moments were so filled with the activities that fill my mind.  Contemplating, planning, reminiscing, hoping... Those moments were never about just being still.  This year, I began a practice of stillness.  I am slowly gaining an awareness that is so powerful that it compels me to PAUSE.  

There are so many questions we ask about life, hoping we would find the answers to - but if we keep looking outward, we will never find them.  The answers lie within us, we just need to listen.

I am embracing this uneasy feeling for the purpose of being in the moment.  I am really glad to have this time to write about this.  I am not sure which way to go, I just know that this space has been waiting for many years... and I'll allow this to just be and see where it takes me.